When the bug-eyed bag lady of batshit Michele Bachmann took to the stage the other day to perform a semi-coherent yawp of an endorsement of the man about whom she pronounced only months before with utter finality, “He cannot beat Obama. It’s not going to happen,” and pronounced with a similar utter finality that she was “honored” to do so; the same man who was for Obamacare, abortion rights and immigrant rights and anything on your shopping list before he was a “severe” opponent of it, there was the perfect encapsulation of the new Republican cynicism undeterred by existence of electronic audio and visual recording devices.

The cynicism brand never felt so cheap and mass produced. Republicans this time may finally have attained the previously considered all but impossible by actually underestimating the attention span of American voters. Republicans and their amalgamated media mouthpieces have operated with such laissez faire abandon in their public utterances lately they have managed to say virtually everything about everybody, and with unshakeable conviction and time warp speed unsay it. I find myself perversely in awe. Their pedaling and back-pedaling, their pure avowals and pure disavowals move faster than something in the Large Hadron Collider. Cynicism and contempt for voter intelligence have much too tired blood as descriptors for whatever this breath-swiping phenomena is.

For a party whose operational model is to go as low as humanly possible while avoiding Satan sending them directly to hell before the campaign is even finished, the party that invented the politics of non-existent moral boundaries and established campaign slime as a family value is on the brink of something historic I think. I believe we are about to witness a land mass-altering inundation of sleaze of absolutely biblical proportions, as if Roland Emmerich decided the only way he could cinematically top the devastation of his Day After Tomorrow and 2012 was to direct the Romney campaign.

I’m not saying the campaign team of the Preppie-in-Chief is dumb; I’m merely saying it’s possible, since they have yet to grasp or communicate successfully to their candidate that if you criticize a president literally for everything the criticism eventually loses every last oomph of horsepower, and the attention then shifts to the vacancy of the critic and his mendaciously reflexive and worthless attacks.

Yet we may be in uncharted waters here. A Republican Party that no longer disguises its core of utter mendacity is not your father’s Republican Party. In addition, the White Shadow Mitt Romney is perhaps the breeziest brazen liar ever to step foot onto a political stage. During their presidential primaries Republicans insulted such a mammoth swath of the American electorate: Immigrants, Latinos, Blacks, Gays, women, Americans lacking health insurance, scientists, historians, public school teachers, government workers, union members, auto workers, the working poor and fill-in-the-blank, that if the Romney campaign slogan isn’t: “Go Fuck Yourself: Vote Republican” a golden opportunity was missed.