One of the dearest moments in family values history transpired recently somewhere in the Wyoming annex of Hades, when the American Mussolini Richard Bruce Cheney and his hydrocephalic spawn Liz, appeared in an ad denouncing national security mental wellness, and smugly gave America the wonderful news it has long awaited: formation of some Alliance for a Stronger America. Whether membership in said organization now extends, or ever will extend beyond Cheney’s cloven-hooved brood, presently is unknown.
That this abominably odiferous sack of insufferable wet brownies can still regard himself with such rigid veneration, a figure of such inter-continental gravitas as to be a respiring statue celebrated in cement on the national public square, either is one of the more awe inspiring aberrations in human psychology, or an out-of-body experience with exceedingly poor sight lines to the body departed from.
Never mind that according to polls Americans’ love affair with Il Duce Emeritus equals its passion for the onset of flamboyant diarrhea, he is everywhere, and by everywhere I mean every televised forum our indiscriminate, undifferentiating, average-aspiring press can offer, as it plods somnambulistically through the blue plate special Narrative du jour.
His co-star in the recent ad, Liz, in one gruesomely failed run for a Wyoming senate seat achieved at the art of being unappealing at levels serial killers would literally kill to, rejected with extreme prejudice by even the doctrinaire rightist cadres of Wyoming Republican primary voters. This is testament to a family of staggeringly admirable proficiency at engendering repugnance, and elevates them to a kind of aristocracy of Americans other Americans wish would go away.
That Richard Bruce (Dick) Cheney, and the administration he guided from the back seat, executed two of the largest whiffs in American national security history, the Rumpelstiltskin snooze through the months preceding, and plainly responsible for 9-11, and the gratuitous, illogical, politically depraved blundering into Iraq, an invasion nothing short of a Pandora’s box of bloody mayhem, sectarian ethnic cleansing, Jihadist recruitment, and American and Iraqi death at highly efficient rates, would deign to advise us now on how the nation should conduct itself and with all due pomposity intact, and that the American press would do anything other than minimize exposure to the toxin is my fellow Americans, something to be observed with a weighty heart.
This would be that Richard B. Cheney, the one, who along with Bush administration foreign policy savants sneered at the outgoing Clinton administration’s preoccupation with Islamic terrorism, and did so with grandiose dismissal, terrorism out of sight and out of mind. That 2000 campaign speeches by the Bush foreign policy dream team of Cheney, Rice, Wolfowitz and Sons were the place where never a discouraging word was heard regarding a threat of terrorism was hardly accidental. Their preoccupation was missile defense, vintage cold war swill.
Such catastrophic wrongness, such colossal misplacement of priorities, such extraordinarily deadly incompetence coupled with such comically fatuous display of clueless hubris combined to create one for the history books to put it mildly.
The Dick and Lizzie Show to the surprise and enlightenment of audiences nowhere, offered more of their flailing about in the popular extremist genre of Obama infamy, the standard Cheney fare of incoherent nationalism, all-purpose bellicosity and scattershot stridency with usable solutions for nothing. Profligacy with the blood of others remains the family business.
The truth unremarked by the punditocracy happens to be that Cheney and his family of wretches are among the Republican ilk driven mad by occupancy of the executive branch by a Democrat, a wound salted, and their howls goosed by the inescapable reality Democrats are better at protecting the nation. That they do it more intelligently is the straw that breaks the Republican psyche.
Cheney, having correctly ascribed his success as a money-grubbing homunculus of corporatism, and as a grimly obdurate politician, to being the most prolifically suppurating pustule on the ass of humanity, it is only natural that Cheney advocate such a demeanor define America’s role in the world. It’s a recommendation, for all its insistence and its neo-con persistence, no American with even a single synapse firing still will ever as much as consider. That leaves William Kristol, Richard Wolfowitz and several ignominious others to the dirty work of neo-conservative martyrdom.
This blog post should be regarded by the powers that be as my official act of begging, that the national television media never again show me this discredited, degenerate individual or his caterwauling troll of a progeny. The Cheneys are our republic’s most ungainly advocates for internal repression and for ugly, unconscionable empire. Putting them on television should be against the law.
Give me Putin instead, at least a comparatively fresh face with practically identical views, and similar morals.