In the imagination of the Republican caliphate, from elected officials to the glorious low-information base that drives it, President Barack Obama exists somewhere between, and indeed everywhere between a feckless, emasculated, simpering, cowardly example of utter abasement, and an omnipotent figure capable of changing the course of mighty rivers, besieging the land with plague and tyranny, toying with nations and continents, and even moving the celestial bodies around as the mood strikes him.
One can tell how the enslaved Republican citizen suffers under the iron boot of repressive Obamaism from the testimonials of the afflicted heroically transmitted somehow from the hundreds or perhaps thousands of radio hosts still miraculously allowed to broadcast, attestations of the infamies of their tormentor conveyed by brave resistors from their hiding place on Fox News, from conservative newspapers and websites in the millions, reports of Obama tyranny managing to seep out in something like tidal waves and washes.
Whether it is the dangers of nuclearization in Iran, or the use of chemical gases against the rebels by Bashir Assad of Syria, Obama’s porridge always is too hot or too cold, never just right. Regarding Syria, Obama has been savaged by the martyrs of dissent as the bastard child of Neville Chamberlain waving the Wehrmacht in, and Pee-Wee Herman with his shameful parts in his hand wanking.
Whether the result of inferior memory, lack of resources, Attention Deficit Disorder or some other entirely inexplicable, yet benign phenomenon, little has surfaced in the Obama-dominated media about Syria’s Obama instigated and effectuated agreement, and its eventual follow through on that agreement to permit and collaborate in the removal of its chemical stockpiles. This is what a cheeky, cunning wag might refer to as a great Obama success.
As concerns Iran, from the Sun-Tzu Axis of Bravado and Strategy in the swivel chairs and couches of Fox News and the combat trenches of congressional Republican offices, word comes that Obama has been complicit to the point of crouching with the Ayatollah to effectively light the fuse to the nuclear bomb that will destroy the Middle East and much of the rest of the world. In some miraculous occurrence of silence, inexplicable as the rain of frogs in the movie Magnolia, scant notice has been paid by the Obama-controlled American press, to Obama-initiated secret talks with Iran, which produced multi-nation negotiations leading to Iran’s assent to elimination of its enriched uranium gas under the auspices of international bodies, curtailment of its nuclear activities in exchange for the reduction of sanctions. In some cultures such a presidentially initiated and effectuated outcome would be considered a grand foreign policy triumph.
Remarkably, accolades for this accomplishment, nor the sight of Republican naysayers and Obama hissy-fitters grazing on enormous troughs of crow in a well-lighted public venue have not materialized from liberalism’s megaphone and Obama’s propaganda organ, the American press.
Domestically, the putatively Marxist Obama’s assault on capitalism has been noticed with enormous ire by every Republican breathing, or recently dead in the ground. It just hasn’t been noticed by capital. Capital has fervidly procreated, with the coffers of major corporations busting at the seams of bank vaults (notably not invested in job creation, though certainly invested) reported profits unprecedented, and the stock market unashamedly orgasmic.
In March 2009, the stock market bottomed out for investors at a soul-depleting 6,547. It is higher than 17,000 now, more than 250% of gain and rising. To my knowledge, yet to be scheduled is the ceremony crowning Obama, King of Capitalism. In the wake of Obama’s merrily cutting a swath of devastation across the landscape of America’s economy, unemployment, at 7.8 the month Obama assumed the presidency has fallen to its current 6.1.
Quarterly GDP declined by 7.8 percent the quarter preceeding Obama’s presidency. During Obama’s reign of horror, 18 straight quarters of growing GDP have occurred. 800,000 jobs were lost the month Obama assumed his presidency as the economy burned and shriveled in the consuming flames of Bush’s Great Recession. In the brimstone pit of Obama’s economy, there have occurred 50 months of job growth, 33 months of them in a row now. 288,000 jobs were created in June, 4.5 million during the Obama presidency. Such is life in the Apocalypse.
And here’s some news: The budget deficit, which Republicans increase by staggering percentages when they retain control, and cry themselves to sleep at night in woe about when out of office, has been reduced from the 1.4 trillion President Obama inherited from his surplus-destroying predecessor, to a current 492 billion: from 10% of GDP to 2, though this has yet to be trumpeted by Republican mutes, or Obama’s fourth estate. Such is life through the Looking Glass of American media and political culture in the post-truth, post-factual age.
Most of this has been greeted by the liberal American press with the chirp of crickets and the rasp of cicadas.
Republicans retort with an array of fresh ideas: impeach Darwin (right after Obama); eradicate the heinous science that is climatology; eliminate the wanton scourge of contraception; life begins when a man buys a woman a drink; cut the voting out; more reminders to victims of rape they are often sissies; coddle the rich evermore; corporate impunity from sea to shining sea.
Two theories pertain when it comes to Ukraine: A) Erstwhile Republican icon, Vladimir Putin looses the separatist thugs, turmoil breaks out in eastern Ukraine. B) Obama coughs, turmoil breaks out in eastern Ukraine. The press is undecided.
John McCain, Lindsay Graham, Ted Cruz, and other oleaginous warriors of Christendom have traced Obama’s culpability in the Gaza feud back to biblical times, time travel and transmogrification among the supernatural powers the man commands when he’s in the mood.
Liberty has been destroyed, except for the liberty of the Koch’s money, whose speech rights accrue exponentially with every court ruling.
The chowderbrains contend that Obama is failed and wicked with the stolid conviction of fence posts.
CNN and Politico hold firm on the narrative of the week like a dog with a dirty sock in its mouth. The narrative of late: Poor Obama.
Strange times. Strange times.