BACHMANN PREDICTS END OF WORLD; SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT

Timing is everything.

And yes, timing isn’t important only for comedians and athletes, but it’s a critical qualification in the Apocalypse predicting business. Michelle Bachmann has been predicting the end of the world since 2006, most visibly at the church of fruitcake anti-gay preacher Bradlee Dean, who has called for jailing and executing gays.  Obviously he has some issues, and a punch in the face could only help. Anyone who ends his days probably should get a medal (I keed, of course).

The fact that anyone pays any attention at all to Michelle Bachmann would be the first hint there really might be something to Revelations. Bad things are slated to happen, and that most certainly qualifies. Floods, earthquakes, tornadoes, Eric Cantor, Sarah Palin and a plague of Rupert Murdoch: I’m a believer.

Here’s a bit of what Bachmann said in her Minnie Pearl does Elmer Gantry shtick:

Lord, the day is at hand. We are in the last days. You are a Jehovah God. We know that the times are in your hands. And we give them to you…The day is at hand, Lord, when your return will come nigh. Nothing is more important than bringing sheep into the fold. Than bringing new life into the kingdom…You have weeded that garden. The harvest is at hand.

She doesn’t specify, so I’m under the impression the title of Antichrist still is up for grabs. Among those responsible for the beginning of the end in 2007 are some excellent candidates: George W. Bush, Alan Greenspan, along with posthumous nominees Ludwig Von Mises and Ayn Rand, for giving Republicans the dumb and loony economic ideas that have ruled the country for thirty years and provoked the raining down of fire and brimstone, otherwise known as credit default swaps. I can’t nominate our buddy Rupert M, because the scriptural qualifications are frankly lacking: the real deal is said to possess a deceptive benevolence.   Rupert’s such a conspicuous snake even his dog considers him an overt ass. If Gandhi were around he’d kick him in the nuts. That’s how “deceptively benevolent” Rupert is.

But back to the end of days. Michelle Bachmann is currently in the lead in Republican polls in Iowa, and second in Republican polls nationally for the nomination for president of one of the two dominant political parties in the United States. I’d be making my peace if I were you.

 I won’t say they’re necessarily wicked, but if the Big Guy was at all serious about the message conveyed in the following passage from Proverbs:  The righteous are concerned for the rights of the poor. The wicked do not understand such concern,” then the political party that has made the poor synonymous with “welfare queens,” is in biiiiiiiiiiiiiig trouble in the near future. As we debate whether our richest are served well enough, and our poor and old are reaping far too much, while we spare no expense for the building of weapons, I’m thinking these Republicans have pushed the Man Upstairs within ten minutes of completely fed up.

Yea, the signs are many. When the party in control of nothing more than a single house of America’s congress can dictate terms to the rest of government, lo, it is a theatrical tryout for the Dark Kingdom. If the Devil hasn’t won he’s winning. And someone isn’t amused.

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