I’m casting aspersions on the hygienic practices of no one. But I certainly know what I can see with my own eyes, and when it comes to presidential politics, and more precisely the Romney campaign, Republicans are visibly dripping with perspiration and sweating through their clothes.

Romney is finding himself living the experience of garlic going through a garlic press as the Obama campaign presses down hard on Romney’s fancy financial history, slick tax maneuvers and refusal to release additional tax returns as a Greek Chorus in the Republican and conservative establishments admonish his campaign to accept the inevitable and cough the returns up. Polling reveals on a daily basis that advertising apprising American voters of the punishing consequences for middle-class workers who were collateral damage in the Bain Capital juggernaut of private equity money-making is making him more likely to be elected Mayor of Potterville than president of the United States.

Romney is putting fellow Republicans in such proximity to hell that when one encounters Republican bigwigs or conservative mouthpieces on a television screen attempting to hold the line as part of an embattled and besieged defensive team they have the wilted look of taking a sauna in a pressure cooker. The level of Republican desperation is revealed in increasingly preposterous Republican rhetoric: the worse the Romney campaign performs, the less American the president of the United States becomes; the more devastating the Obama campaign’s assaults, the more socialistic and finally communistic the president of the United States is.

A fine example of Republican frazzling, George Herbert Walker Bush consigliere and current nobody John Sununu said of the president yesterday: “I wish this president would learn how to be an American.”  I wish Sununu would learn how to be something other than swelling rectal tissue but the Make-A-Wish Foundation hasn’t been returning my calls. The old fat traitor himself, Rush Limbaugh said of our president yesterday, “I think it can now be said, without equivocation – without equivocation – that this man hates this country.”   The best evidence available yet that Rush Limbaugh continues to hate our country is his continuing presence here, burdening us with his bulbous putrescence his most conspicuous act of aggressive hatred.

Clearly the best indication of the level of alarm at the condition of the Romney candidacy is that all prominent sacks of shit are now on deck. Karl Rove and the Koch brothers are running ads accusing a sitting president of the United States outright of being a liar, an act of such obvious tortured anxiety you want to send them an anti-anxiety pill and a dry towel. In any case, as the heat continues to be applied to Romney and the chances of him becoming president inevitably begin to cool, expect to see a lot of spritzed Republicans disrespecting, dehumanizing and feverishly dissimulating about the President of the United States in a manner embarrassing to an entire nation.