Crybaby Soup for Republicans: Obama Got Osama and Guess Who Didn’t?

Under the watch of George W. Bush and chromium-domed consigliere Richard B. Cheney two momentous things occurred: America was the victim of the worst attack on its own soil in its long history; and, America retaliated against the wrong country over weapons of mass destruction that inconveniently failed to exist at all. Why supporters of that benighted administration would be jealous to the point of throwing themselves off of cliffs that President Obama killed the mastermind of 9-11 isn’t too difficult to comprehend.

In fact more homespun comedy than Republicans wounded, taken aback and bawling their eyes red over President Obama celebrating and politically trumpeting his triumphant nailing of the world’s most notorious terrorist would be hard to find. The nation’s ever so bellicose armchair warriors and its crowing chicken hawks suddenly have turned so green with envy they could be incarcerated for impersonating shrubbery.

If the modern Republican Party was constructed on any single thing it was constructed on brazen demagoguery regarding national security, using every cudgel from red-baiting to exaggerating the threats from everyone while conducting their fifty year hissy fit of scarification and exorbitant defense spending in order to politically capitalize on security posturing any chance they got. The worst kept secret in the known universe was the degree to which Republicans viewed their invasion of Iraq as a political ticket to heaven, Karl Rove’s Republican majority dream. That Republicans are shocked and awed by Obama’s flipping off Major Mittens’ inane blurbs about Obama’s putative defense failures by advertising his security triumphs is about as poetic as justice ever gets.

Al Gore and John Kerry went to Vietnam. George Bush patrolled the skies of Texas, and Cheney heroically fought to seize five draft deferments from a menacing draft board. This didn’t deter Republicans from their inordinate breast-beating over the last decade while they ran the treasury and the American military into the ground with their Iraq fiasco. Let ‘em blubber now.

Our current president has effectively and efficiently whacked away the bad guys since he came to office…and he is going to talk about it and talk about it a lot. Republicans invented this medicine and they better get used to swallowing it. I’m sending crybaby soup over to help them wash it down.

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