The Great Sour Grapes Tantrum of 2013 (Running the Authoritarian Flag Up The Flagpole)


The extreme right is pissed, let me count the ways. The world has gone completely sideways on them, in oh so many, many instances these days: Nobody loves them, it turns out. Their beloved zealotries continue to come up lemons in the democratic process on a predictably regular basis now. Business for what they’re selling is decidedly less than brisk, robust only among the small, embittered faction otherwise known as the Republican base, which shrinks even faster than a pair of cotton undies stranded  in a blazing dryer, and thus, causing them even graver distress. What’s a heroic dissident fighting the forces of material reality to do?

Shut down the government that’s what. And refuse to pay the nation’s bills. And demand the extermination of Obamacare or you’ll blow the economy’s head right fucking off. Like the disgruntled employee showing up for work packing some of the NRA’s more beloved slaughtering devices the majority of the country has caused enormous gruntlement to our radical Republican cohort, by disagreeing with them. Now, the inflamed minority has us hiding under our desks and chairs: “We ain’t gonna to take it anymore. Majority rule’s for the birds. Rat-A-Tat-Tat.”

And it just keeps going so very wrong.

Somehow, someway, a president they’ve declared, and have convinced themselves is the awful Loch Ness Monster of Marxian Tyranny destroying all that is apple and pie has been re-elected by an electoral landslide, five million more popular votes than his opposition.

Mitt Romney, righteous scourge of the scrofulous 47 percenters, and he whom the right’s revered “experts” and leaders had promised would prevail victoriously in a glorious landslide is Commander-In-Chief only of his car elevator at the present time. The demise of the Kenyan anti-colonialist was an expectation held as gospel under the conservative Bio Dome, where never a discouraging word is heard.

Worse, and alarmingly so for the defenders of white privilege, the country is shedding its whiteness. Given that blacks and Hispanics continue to return in kind, the disdain Republicans have volubly and often nastily displayed for their interests this is particularly rotten news.

Young people uncontrollably hurl at the very mention of the words Republican Party, boding ill for Republican electoral fortunes for decade after decade to come.

And, on this day of our Lord October 2, 2013, every modern post-industrial nation in the world enjoys some form of universal healthcare. And as of yesterday we are getting a taste ourselves. The rest of the world moves in one direction, the Cruz Commandos move in one directly opposite. Modern, social welfare states are king, the right’s pre-Enlightenment feudalism, dressed in the pretentious digs of one of Ayn Rand’s comic books, is at the same time history, as well as a future dystopia nobody but them could want.

Eventually they had to snap.

If the only thing that can stop a bad congress with a gun is a good congress with a bigger gun we have to hope Harry Reid is loaded for bear, and that Barack Obama has got his back. Or something. I’m new to these NRA metaphors.

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