Self-Deporting from Candy Land: In Defense of Hatred, Conquest & Blood Lust

fuck you

In fairness, a hard fought contest of Candy Land can be a rough business. Extreme Candy Land, even more so.

However, to paraphrase Henry Miller, this is not a blog post in the ordinary sense of the term. No, it is a prolonged insult, a gob of spit in the face of civility, respect, composure, restraint, decorum, rhetorical inhibition, tempered disputation, non-partisanship, bipartisanship, reluctant argumentativeness, dignified constipation, pseudo-sophisticated mumbling, gloved attacks, puniness, laziness and other forms of fecklessness fronting as grandeur…as well as just plain fucking around while irrationality, ignorance, ideological menace and philistinism are breathing down your neck.

In my not entirely humble opinion not only is it permissible for those with cultivated or liberal sensibilities to hate, it is a requirement and a responsibility. Those who would make your world stupid, cruel or ugly deserve every bit of scorn, wrath and red-hot hate at your disposal as well as an indomitable determination to conquer them, best them, beat them, or scatter their parts to the four winds.

The sublime novelist and moralist Georges Bernanos wrote pointedly and perceptibly about the genuine menace of The Stupid: Your profound mistake is to fancy that stupidity is harmless, or even that there are harmless forms of stupidity…once you get it going, it smashes everything.” Amen brother. I drive a car in Los Angeles and I know whereof you speak.

Bernanos also wrote: “The wrath of the Stupid has always saddened me; but today I might also say it terrifies.” Bernanos did his principal writing during the Twenties and Thirties, and died in 1948. Surely he would savor the affirmation of his perspicacity were it possible for him to read Texas Republican congressman Steve Stockman’s newly unveiled campaign bumper sticker, “If babies had guns they wouldn’t be aborted.” No doubt Bernanos would express satisfaction with the grave as a perfectly comfortable choice of residences for the time being.

Stockman, whose point of view is not a marginal one, but rather the pervasive one in today’s Republican Party, tweeted at the news of the death of Tory Queen of the Dickensian Restoration, Margaret Thatcher, adored by American social and economic Flintstonians, “I fight on, I fight to win. The best way to honor Baroness Thatcher is to crush liberalism and sweep it into the dustbin of history.” To which I say, well motherfucker, not if I and those with me crush you and yours first. And that is my every intention.

I have little affection for American militarism and stupid wars, but when America chased the Taliban out of town with cruise missiles it was quite appropriate justice for those misogynistic, barbarian pieces of shit. Their banishment of art, music, dancing, and exposed lady parts, pretty much everything worth living for, was justification enough for getting down to business with them. But their stupid and vicious destruction of the Buddhas of Bamiyan, monumental statues carved into a cliff in the Bamiyan Valley in the 6th Century put them in the company of the vilest scourges of civilization. Even Genghis Kahn spared the Buddhas. The trophy you get for exceeding Genghis Kahn in philistinism and barbarism surely must be the kind that explodes.

All due admiration for what grace, calm, tolerance and equanimity you possess, but if you can’t hate the National Rifle Association you were born with a defective hate gene. Likewise, if the medievalism of the current science-deniers, history vandals, economic feudalists, cultural reactionaries, ideological absolutists and bloodless dullards doesn’t turn your blood into hot flowing lava I frankly don’t know what to do with you at all.

Has anyone ever believed Donald Trump too subtle in his proselytizing for triumphal dumbbell materialism, too restrained in his salesmanship for high-flying gaucherie, too demure in pushing his lamebrain, mutantly stupid conspiracies? Nothing you marshal in the campaign to eradicate this shall be considered excessive, and little short of roasting his bulbous, carrot-mopped carcass over a pit will be deemed out of bounds.

Furthermore, anything less than a ripe appetite to rip into the viscera of overt or sly garden variety bigots will be unacceptable and stopping short of feasting on the guts of McCarthyite, anti-democratic, demagogic wads of slime such as Ted Cruz who would impose their vision of a feudalist utopian horror show on the rest of us can’t be tolerated. Those who would give us the crass counterpart of barren, communist materialism: barren, libertarian materialism, must have their philistine asses chased down with sharp objects by those with a willingness to use them.

I say to these enemies what a wise friend of The Dude once proclaimed in a bowling alley parking lot: Show me what you’ve got, Nihilists.

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