PUSTULE OF THE WEEK

The week is only half over, yet it’s never too early to begin speculating who will be PUSTULE OF THE WEEK. I don’t want to get on the wrong side of Larry Flynt, so I won’t promise to begin a regular PUSTULE OF THE WEEK feature, which would edge perilously close to Hustler’s infamous ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH.  However, I like the anticipated legal arguments that would obtain during litigation when my counsel delineates the semantic, connotative and physiological distinctions between a pustule and an asshole. I expect the evidentiary graphics would be highly problematic but the summations definitely extra colorful.

In any case, there are several individuals in the public eye whose recent asininity warrants consideration.  And by the way, perennial ignoramuses on the order of Glen Beck and Sarah Palin are disqualified given that asininity is their behavioral norm, and probably God’s will, though something outstanding in the category will be considered should the moment arise.

Not surprisingly, Wisconsin is at the forefront again this week for behavior most associated with and representative of suppurating pustules. Senator Ron Johnson, the Tea Party chowder head with whom Wisconsinites replaced Russ Feingold at the same time they elected Scott “Union Busta” Walker and his Republican majority in the Wisconsin state house and senate is an early frontrunner. He noted the anniversary of passage of health reform, The Affordable Care Act with the claim that if in effect at the time of his daughter’s birth it likely would have resulted in her death. Obama kills again! Senator Fuckwit remarked:

 “I don’t even want to think what might have happened if she had been born at a time and place where government defined the limits for most insurance policies and set precedents on what would be covered. Would the life-saving procedures that saved her have been deemed cost-effective by policy makers deciding where to spend increasingly scarce tax dollars?”

It’s a remarkable hat trick of viciousness, lying and ignorance, the Holy Trinity of Republican politics in other words. Anyone familiar with the bill, which apparently excludes Republican senators from Wisconsin, understands the bill has no effect whatsoever on coverage under private plans. And of course, opposing extension of health insurance to Americans previously without it, including children who well might die without coverage, as he and other Republicans have done, sort of puts them in the category of potential murderers by willful neglect doesn’t it? Of course, this line of discussion may sound a little crazy I admit. But it’s the Rabbit Hole you’re sailing down when you attempt to engage with Republican “thinking” these days.

Our second pustular nominee is the embarrassingly irrelevant Maureen Dowd, whose continued life on the planet is noticed only after her column spews forth words of ear-shatteringly loud banality. Here are a couple slices of her freshest baked Silly Pie:

 “There is something positively mythological about a group of strong women swooping down to shake the president out of his delicate sensibilities and show him the way to war.

 “It is not yet clear if the Valkyries will get the credit or the blame on Libya. But everyone is fascinated with the gender flip: the reluctant men — the generals, the secretary of defense, top male White House national security advisers — outmuscled by the fierce women around President Obama urging him to man up against the crazy Qaddafi.”

The premise that Obama was henpecked into pitching in in Libya apparently was pulled out of the swirl of observation running among the Washington cognoscenti (a word I use here exclusively in abject mockery) at their famous dinner parties it is presumed. There are a lot of feloniously dull people living in Washington DC, and when they try to express what they think is a clever idea accidents like this happen. I haven’t been able to decide whether her column is more insulting to Obama, women, hens or all sentient beings. And what the fuck is a dinner party anyhow?

Lastly, we have a group nomination for any and all Republicans criticizing Obama for America’s participation in the effort to protect the Libyan insurgence. Rather than criticism offered with any iota, one scrap of concern for policy, security, geopolitics or human lives, it’s more of the same clumsy, reflexive hammering. What’s worse, and so conspicuous is that Republicans, so long as one of their own occupies the White House, ALWAYS drool at the prospect or implementation of American military might, promising as it does their favorite things: parades, uniforms, bugles, whizzing bullets, army men, cool tanks and lots and lots of exploding shit. The only qualification to this love affair is that they personally under no circumstance are in any close proximity whatsoever to where fighting actually is taking place. Our Chicken Hawks have a history of advocating wars while individually never getting closer than the director’s cut DVD of “Platoon.”

Though these accomplishments by this week’s human zitoids are remarkable indeed, ruling out further excellence in the field before the week is out would be most unwise in this, our Tea Party USA era.

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