If It Quacks like a Duck and Walks like a Quail, It’s a Weasel

The legal and semantic debate over whether the cost to be charged to consumers for failure to purchase health insurance under the rules of health reform is a tax or a penalty has become epic, and that’s just the debate between Mitt Romney and himself. One couldn’t ask for a more representative, emblematic crystallization of this unfortunate human being’s grossly craven and supernatural shape-shifting than his jaw-dropping duplicity, or more accurately, as with everything this man confronts, multiplicity on the tax vs. penalty question.

No one is asking that politicians universally and unilaterally reverse their essential nature and become scrupulous, dependable, altruistic, transparent, honest and forthright in all things. However, given Romney’s Nixon-transcending conspicuous craven cynicism he astonishes in the way other freakish occurrences in nature do, an utter phenomenon of vacated soul and debasement.

One can understand that Romney is a product of a Republican culture and Republican history that diverts as a necessity of survival, the last thing any Republican would wish to reveal being what she really believes and really would like to do, though with Republican extremity now ascended to such high prominence in the government itself such rigid discipline has begun to give way to the fervent impulsiveness of true zealotry. Naturally Republicans would not come right out and declare their complete and devoted fealty to the corporate class even if their behavior reveals it. Nor would they directly apprise voters that theirs is a party of Ayn Rand feudalism and neo-aristocracy, of southern plantation social and economic structures where the small class of betters, mostly a business and ownership and financial class retains de-facto ownership of all the rest.

Yet Romney, unlike even other Republicans has no static positions at all, not on anything, no historically consistent propaganda, much less consistent public point of view on any given issue. After literally years of defending the payment required of persons in Massachusetts who fail to purchase health insurance as a penalty, upon the announcement of the decision by the high court Romney adopted the popular cliché being used in the chattering classes, in other words converting “if it quacks like a duck and it walks like a duck, it’s a duck,” to “if it quacks like a tax and it walks like a tax, it’s a tax.” Astoundingly, Romney and various spokespersons for his campaign vacillated back and forth from insisting it was a penalty to insisting it was a tax to insisting again that it was a penalty and on and on. Immersed as we are in the middle of the summer, have sufficient numbers of Americans been paying enough attention to have witnessed this fiasco of character and politics…and fully comprehended what an historically awesome weasel this dude is?

The folks at Slate magazine have produced a useful compilation of statements by Willard demonstrating his preternatural viscosity on the tax and penalty matter. Look, it’s a penalty:

April 3, 2006: “It’s not a tax hike. It is a fee. It’s an assessment. … It applies to people who are abusing the free-care pool and who are excessively using the free-care pool, and some incentive to avoid that is appropriate. But it’s not a tax.”

April 11, 2006: Every uninsured citizen in Massachusetts will soon have affordable health insurance and the costs of health care will be reduced. And we will need no new taxes, no employer mandate and no government takeover to make this happen.”

Look again, it’s a tax:

Jan. 5, 2008.: In a Republican presidential debate, moderator Charlie Gibson tells Romney, “You imposed tax penalties in Massachusetts.” Romney replies: “Yes. We said, ‘Look, if people can afford to buy it, either buy the insurance or pay your own way. Don’t be free riders and pass on the cost to your health care to everybody else.’”

Look now. It is declared a tax and it is declared not a tax, included for your convenience in a single statement:

Aug. 24, 2007. In a speech to the Florida Medical Association, Romney says his “enforcement mechanism” for people earning more than three times the poverty level is that “when they get their tax bill … they’re charged $100 a month for not having bought insurance.” He calls the Massachusetts system universal coverage without “needing new taxes.”

March 7, 2010. On Fox News Sunday, Romney says “we didn’t raise taxes” in enacting the Massachusetts law. When Chris Wallace objects that “you have an individual mandate,” Romney replies that the Massachusetts law, unlike Obamacare, entails “no new taxes,” even though residents of Massachusetts who “don’t buy insurance” will “find that their taxes are higher.”

But wait just a minute now, according to Romney’s senior campaign adviser it’s déjà vu all over again, and that dang thing has become a penalty again:

July 2, 2012: Fehrnstrom: “The governor believes that what we put in place in Massachusetts was a penalty, and he disagrees with the court’s ruling that the mandate was a tax. But again—”

And then finally, alas, the very exact same mechanism that is a tax and not a penalty when levied by the federal government is a penalty and not a tax when levied by Massachusetts:

July 4, 2012

Romney: “ The Supreme Court has the final word. And their final word is that Obamacare is a tax. So it’s a tax. … And so now the Supreme Court has spoken. … They concluded it was a tax. That’s what it is. And the American people know that President Obama has broken the pledge he made. He said he wouldn’t raise taxes on middle-income Americans. “

Interviewer:  ”Have you changed your views on this? Do you now believe that it is a tax at the federal level—that the Supreme Court has said it’s a tax, so it is a tax?”

Romney: Well, I said that I agreed with the dissent, and the dissent made it very clear that they felt it was unconstitutional. But the dissent lost. It’s in the minority. And so now the Supreme Court has spoken. … They concluded it was a tax. That’s what it is. And the American people know that President Obama has broken the pledge he made. He said he wouldn’t raise taxes on middle-income Americans. Not only did he raise the $500 billion that was already in the bill, it’s now clear that his mandate, as described by the Supreme Court, is a tax.”

If one substitutes historians, scientists or perhaps psychiatrists for geneticists, the following observation from The Day the Earth Stood Still referring to alien DNA applies as well to Romney’s words:  “You don’t understand. These are the Dead Sea Scrolls. Geneticists are going to be studying this code for generations.”

 It has been said, including by me, that Romney has no core. But in fact he does: And it is morally and intellectually unmoored, sociopathic and craven calculation.

So Much of His Own Petard to Hoist Mitt Romney On

If TV killed the radio star, videotape is raping, sodomizing and murdering Willard Romney’s presidential aspirations. For the millions wondering and speculating how the campaign for president by a man who has literally occupied every position on every salient issue of our time would look in practice, we can now say it looks like interns employed by the Obama campaign and media outlets gassed and out of breath from running back and forth from the video storage room for evidence of the latest Romney boomerang that fits the moment.

So tireless at pirouettes he is the envy of professional ballerinas everywhere, Romney seems to proceed with no plan or strategy whatsoever for contending with the very concrete reality that he is on the everlasting record on virtually every form of recording device since papyrus taking firm stands the opposite of the firm stands he took before. On everything: abortion, climate change, the Bush tax cuts, immigration, guns and the NRA, stem cell research, same-sex marriage…I’d go on, but I’m not getting paid by the hour (or at all).

What’s almost preternatural and utterly baffling about Romney is that he never even seemed to consider for a second any nuanced evolution of his positions out of, oh say, dread of shame and embarrassment at such conspicuously egregious backflips all across the board; or inevitable ridicule, or accusations that only an empty plastic container could be so lacking in core beliefs. The fact that he hasn’t seemed to think it matters at all even as he runs for president arouses an almost desperate thirst for psychological explanation, the inscrutability of his morally and intellectually baseless behavior at George Costanza levels. In political terms, Richard Nixon wants his trophy for soulless cynicism and ruthless lying back.

But trying to follow the Romney campaign’s contortions attempting to deal with health care in light of the recent court decision, and more precisely the exact likeness of Romneycare to Obamacare hurts your eyes and your head and your neck. Romney’s senior campaign advisor says this: “He disagreed with the ruling. He disagreed with the findings of the ruling. He disagreed with the logic that supported those findings. He said that he agreed with the dissent, which was written by Justice Scalia, and the dissent clearly stated that the mandate was not a tax.”

So, according to this, Romney disagrees with the finding that Obamacare, in other words Romneycare, his own reform, is constitutional. He agrees with Scalia that Obamacare, in other words Romneycare is unconstitutional because the individual doesn’t pay a tax but a penalty when he or she  fails to purchase health insurance, meaning Obamacare, in other other words Romneycare shouldn’t be allowed to exist at all  in its current form. Uh, yowsers!

And then, Romney spokesperson Amanda Henneberg, ostensibly in Romney’s defense, or attacking Obama on Romney’s behalf, or something, said, : “The Supreme Court left President Obama with two choices: the federal individual mandate in Obamacare is either a constitutional tax or an unconstitutional penalty. Governor Romney thinks it is an unconstitutional penalty. What is President Obama’s position: is his federal mandate unconstitutional or is it a tax?”  Okay, I think I got a bead on this. She is saying Obamacare, in other words  Romneycare in Massachusetts imposes either a constitutional tax or an unconstitutional penalty. Governor Romney thinks his own health reform program imposes an unconstitutional penalty. While some people’s immediate reaction to this would be to declare that the nation’s most pressing issue now is universal health insurance for turkeys given that criticizing the Romney campaign’s untenable position/positions on health reform is going to be a turkey shoot, mine is this little scene from Kubrick’s flick, Full Metal Jacket.

Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?

Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir!

Colonel: Where’d you get it?

Private Joker: I don’t remember, sir!

Colonel: What is that you’ve got written on your helmet?

Private Joker: “Born to kill,” sir!

Colonel: You write “Born to kill” on your helmet, and you wear a peace button. What’s that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?

Private Joker: No, sir!

Colonel: What is it supposed to mean?

Private Joker: I don’t know, sir!

Colonel: You don’t know very much, do you?

Private Joker: No, sir!

Colonel: You better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you!

Private Joker: Yes, sir!

Colonel: Now answer my question or you’ll be standing tall before the man!

Private Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir!

Colonel: The what?

Private Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir!

Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?

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